I Haven't Slept
by Erin Giles
Summary: Ianto is sleep deprived, and in pain. Can Jack help him before it’s too late? Janto. PostCyberwoman


TITLE: I Haven't Slept

AUTHOR: Erin Giles

RATING: PG-13

SPOILERS: Cyberwoman

DISCLAIMER: I'm not on RTD's writing team yet, but I'm working on it ok!

SUMMARY: Ianto is sleep deprived, and in pain. Can Jack help him before it's too late? Janto.

* * *

Jack found Ianto curled up on the couch in his office, apparently taking Jack's 'Get comfy' a little too literally. His heavily plastered arm was cradled close to his body, his lids heavy with sleep, or lack of it as the case may be and Jack fought with himself for several moments as to whether to leave Ianto sleeping or not.

"Ianto?" Jack placed a hand on the young mans shoulder, causing him to start awake, release the protective hold he had on his injured arm and immediately hiss in pain. Jack frowned apologetically down at the Welshman, helping him into a sitting position while Ianto blushed furiously.

"Sorry Sir, I just…" he trailed off trying to think of a reasonable excuse, "Drifted off."

"So it didn't have anything to do with the fact you haven't slept in a week or the large bump on the back of the head or the inordinately strong painkillers that Owen almost had to force down your throat?" Jack asked sarcastically, bringing himself to his full height in front of Ianto and folding his arms like he was Ianto's mother.

"Sorry, Sir." Ianto hung his head between his aching shoulder blades.

"Ianto, please stop that," Jack almost begged, sitting down beside Ianto on the couch like he was his equal now, "Stop apologising and stop calling me Sir, my name is Jack."

Ianto opened his mouth as if he was going to apologise again, but quickly closed it, looking down at his shoes for a moment,

"Will that be all then, Jack?" Ianto's emphasis was on the word Jack as he brought himself, swaying alarmingly, to his unsteady feet.

Jack grasped his upper arm with some considerable strength, causing Ianto to stand to attention slightly before the mask slipped with Ianto towards the floor. Jack caught him, easing him back towards the couch.

"No, that won't be all." Jack said softly as he perched of the edge of the coffee table facing an exhausted Ianto. He watched the young man trying desperately to focus on him as Jack reached out with careful hands, slipping his tie from round his neck. "I want you to tell me what's going on."

Ianto looked confused for a long moment, continuing to try and focus on Jack as he continued to sway on the couch, threatening to pitch forward into Jack. Jack gently pushed him against the back of the couch.

"I want you to tell me why you're doing this to yourself Ianto, I'm worried about you. We all are." Jack pleaded. It was true after all.

Gwen had been reluctant to leave the hub after today's incident, hovering so close to Ianto that Ianto had actually snapped at her when she had offered for the umpteenth time that she could make the coffee. Owen had even spoken to Jack in private about Ianto and how he could really do with being in hospital after what had happened.

"Is he that bad?" Jack had inquired, sudden worry rearing up in him. Owen had replied so sincerely that Jack had felt a knot twist in his stomach.

"He's not that bad, yet."

Tosh had kept giving Ianto surreptitious glances when she thought no one was looking, and he had seen her cringe when Ianto had bent down to retrieve a pizza box from under Owen's desk, matching Ianto's pained expression as he rose to his feet again.

"I'm tired." Ianto mumbled his eyes now closed where he lay, head resting against the back of the couch. He fought with his eyelids for a long time, Jack just watching him, "Got to stay awake." He whispered, and Jack took his opportunity.

"Why've you got to stay awake Ianto?"

Ianto's head lolled towards his chest before snapping back up, causing him to wince in pain.

"Can't fall asleep, they're all there." Ianto paused, sliding sideways towards the couch, but Jack didn't want him asleep just yet, so righted him, prompting Ianto to continue, "All the screaming, it's too loud. All the running, I'm too tired."

"They're just nightmares Ianto." Jack said softly, placing a hand on Ianto's knee, and causing his head to jerk up again. Ianto shook his head, his out of focus eyes to trying to find Jack's startling blue ones.

"They're all so real." Ianto whispered, leaning towards Jack as if divulging a secret. "They were real. They happened." Ianto was close to tears, but instead of letting them fall closed his eyes, but with the memories so fresh again he snapped his eyes open, trying so hard to stay awake now that Jack was certain his eyes would pop out his head.

Jack was at a loss for words. He couldn't think of anything in that moment to ease Ianto's pain, and so tried to fill the gap by leaning down and undoing the Welshman's shoes and slipping them from his feet. When he was done he found Ianto staring at him like the boy he so suddenly and painfully was, eyes brimming with tears that he refused to let fall.

"Ianto, I know it hurts, but you need to sleep. You can't go on like this. We can't have Owen following you around every minute of the day, scared you'll throw yourself down every flight of steps you come to."

"I slipped." Jack almost lost his temper at that moment, but instead took a deep breath as he lent forwards, taking Ianto's hands in his and looking straight into his eyes.

"You need to stop lying to me Ianto." Jack said with as much force as he could muster, just watching Ianto made him tired.

Ianto swallowed past the lump in his throat, trying to look at anywhere but Jack as his Captains steely blue gaze bore through his own. He gently extracted his hands from Jack, un-tucking his shirt while Jack looked bewildered.

"Last week when I was late for work, I said I slept in. I didn't. I'm not as clumsy as you think Jack." Ianto's shirt was open now and Jack could see the multitude of bruises dappling his left hand side. Jack had to bite his lip to keep from gasping. "I was arrested for fighting. I go out and start fights with people just so I can feel alive." Ianto swallowed again, "I don't feel anything anymore Jack, not since Lisa. I can't, it hurts too much. But this," he indicated his bruises, "This is a different kind of pain, a pain I can control."

Jack could do nothing but stare into the intensity of Ianto's gaze and hope it conveyed everything he wanted to say, but somehow couldn't get past the lump in his throat. He finally found his voice.

"What if I could help you ease that pain?" Jack asked, reaching out for Ianto again, moving closer towards him.

"How can you?" Ianto almost spat as if his pain was his alone to bear.

Before either of them knew what was happening Jack was kissing Ianto, nothing fierce and passionate. A tentative first kiss between two friends to see if it was right before the kiss deepened, both men coming away breathless.

Jack drew back to find tears in Ianto's eyes as he raised a hand to his lips as if trying to hold onto that warm tingling sensation.

"Please don't Jack," Ianto almost begged, tears streaming freely, "I don't want to love only to be hurt so badly again. I couldn't take it."

"I could never hurt you Ianto." Jack said softly, his hands finding their way back to Ianto's, and Jack was grateful when Ianto didn't pull back. He reached up and brushed tears from Ianto's eyes. "How about some sleep?"

Ianto looked nervously round Jack's office for a moment as if he couldn't ever possibly be comfortable here, but then the alternative crept into his head and he nodded resignedly.

"You can sleep in my bed." Jack said softly, pulling Ianto to his feet and leading him down the hatch.

It wasn't until Ianto was lying between the sheets, still trying to fight off the sleep he so desperately needed that it struck Ianto,

"Where are you going to sleep?" His voice was small and childlike again in the half-light of Jack's room.

"I don't sleep much." Jack said as he started to climb back out of his room and into his office, "I'll be upstairs if you need anything."

Jack was almost at the top of the ladders when Ianto called out to him,

"Jack?" Jack turned on the last step, peering into the hole and down at Ianto, "Stay with me?"

Jack lowered himself back into the hole, moving to sit on the end of the bed, but Ianto was holding up the covers for him, a pleading look in his eyes. Jack removed his shoes and slipped beneath the covers. Ianto was hesitant about his decision at first as he turned his back on Jack.

A few moments later Jack was surprised as Ianto rolled back over almost on top of Jack, but did not apologise as he snuggled deep into Jack's chest, while Jack without any encouragement, wrapped his own arms around Ianto, placing a soft kiss on the top of his brow.

"I will never hurt you."

It was the first time in weeks Ianto didn't dream.


End file.
